Oct 28, 2012; Nashville, TN, USA; Tennessee Titans linebacker Zach Brown (55) enters the field before a game against the Indianapolis Colts at LP Field. The Colts beat the Titans 19-13 in overtime. Mandatory credit: Don McPeak-USA TODAY Sports Presswire
What happens when a pedant editor attempts a humor piece? Find out in his Internet research for Tennessee Titans linebacker Zach Brown.
Everyone needs motivation. That’s no problem for NFL players. Who doesn’t dream about fat paychecks, sexy soulmates, top 10 plays, individual records, championships, MVPs, clothing lines, record albums, ice cream bars, appearances on Wheaties boxes and Sports Illustrated covers, Twitter accounts with millions of followers, famous friends, and children who grow up to have even more success than them.
All the glory from players’ careers—and lives—is at your fingertips. Just visit your favorite search engine and search for whatever you want. Bing and Google are among the most highly publicized search engines. Although Google is considered king, Bing has a “Bing It On” campaign where they challenge people to compare each service.
Want to learn more about Zach Brown and how he’s well on his way to enjoying a Hall of Fame career? Tough luck. You see, during the 2012-13 regular-season finale (Dec. 30), Brown returned two interceptions for touchdowns. He solidified his status as one of the NFL’s best up-and-coming linebackers. He’s part of a talented threesome that includes Colin McCarthy and Akeem Ayers. If everyone stays healthy, this band has the potential to become one of the NFL’s top units.
Speaking of “band,” that brings up the dilemma: the Zac Brown Band. “Zach Brown” and “Zac Brown” use different spellings for their first names. Shouldn’t that eliminate confusion between the country musician and football player? Or are the Titans a small-market franchise who isn’t important enough to take notice when tech errors exist?
Let’s start with Google. I want information on Zach Brown. What’s your response?
Joshua Huffman, Google screenshot
I’m redirected to a search result for “Zac Brown.” This has nothing to do with Zach Brown. It has nothing to do with the Titans. Google gives the option to re-search for Zach Brown.
Joshua Huffman, Google screenshot REDONE
With my incredible Microsoft Paint skills in full force, I’ve circled the second result on the re-searched listing. It’s a directory to the official website for the Zac Brown Band. Even after re-searching for Zach Brown, Google still puts that website ahead of Zach Brown-featured links for titansonline.com and NFL.com.
As I’m walking away, I decided to see if Bing was anymore helpful. Can Bing educate this fan on the career of Zach Brown? Bing It On!
Joshua Huffman, Bing screenshot
Okay. Now, I’m an expert on the Zac Brown Band. I’ve also increased my knowledge on Lady Antebellum, The Band Perry and Little Big Town. That’s great and all—but I’m thinking that Zach Brown fell into the Twilight Zone of search engines.
It’s desperation time. Can Yahoo!, the same company who made Chris Chase into one of the most recognized names in content production, give an assist in this quest for knowledge about Zach Brown?
Joshua Huffman, Yahoo! screenshot
Nope. These search engines don’t understand who Zach Brown is. Not only that, but they don’t seem to understand that I’m a pescetarian. I have no use for chicken fried.
It’s time for a verdict. Anyone who wants information about Zach Brown should add “Titans” in the search term. As far as Zach Brown is concerned, it’s up to him to restore the credibility of the Internet. A Pro Bowl appearance during his sophomore campaign should do the trick.
May 14, 2013; Orchard Park, NY, USA; Buffalo Bills running back Zach Brown (35) runs a drill during organized team activities at Bills Healthy Zone Fieldhouse. Mandatory Credit: Timothy T. Ludwig-USA TODAY Sports