Peyton comes to the realization that Phillip may be right about all this... Brian Spurlock-US PRESSWIRE

Dear Peyton Manning: Please don’t come to the Tennessee Titans.

Dear Mr. Manning,

It has recently come to my attention that you are considering the Tennessee Titans as your next NFL home. Before you make that decision, please take a few minutes to read why I think that would be a mistake for both you and the Titans’ organization. First, while you seem like a really nice guy, playing the position of Quarterback in the National Football League takes a little more than niceness. We here in Nashville have been spoiled the past 6 years. We have seen what a true NFL quarterback should look like, and you sir, do not fit the part. Let’s take your “attention to detail” for starters. We all know, based on years of watching Vince Young, that knowing the playbook like it’s a part of your soul is very overrated. A great QB can just wing it and still get great results. I know you think that constant study and practice are the cornerstones of success, but we have been shown time and time again that calling the wrong play in the huddle and then throwing the ball 3 yards behind the running back are just as effective since they force everyone else on the team to play better. Your “extra-prepared” way only makes your teammates lazy and complacent. Same thing goes for your 65% career passing accuracy. All that does is turn your receivers into pampered and spoiled children. They expect every pass to hit them in stride, right on the numbers, which we all know is not nearly as character-building as having passes thrown 2 feet over your head like Kerry Collins was so adept at doing.

Look, your 11 Pro Bowl selections, your 5 First-team All-Pro selections, your 3 Second-team All-Pro selections, your 4 AP NFL MVP’s, your 6 AFC Player of the Year selections, your Super Bowl championship and MVP, your 2 AFC championship trophies, your record at being the fastest QB to reach 50,000 yards passing and the fastest to 4,000 completions, and your 7 years in a row of leading a team to at least 12 wins are all well and good. Those are big and complicated numbers. Probably too big and complicated for the folks of Tennessee to really understand. You see, we like things simple here in Nashville, and I am afraid that your style of football is too flashy.  We have years of 8-8 records, non-existent passing games, and an all out commitment to being average.  You are simply too fancy for us.

Thank you for your interest in our little franchise. You are a great guy, and I’m sure you are going to make some team very happy, but I hope you can understand why that team can’t be the Titans.


Titans Fans

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Tags: Kerry Collins NFL Peyton Manning Tennessee Titans Vince Young

  • Tennessee_T1Tan

    @TitanSizedJason @fansided @Titan_Sized Come on man he’s not going to break the bank and he’ll get us a superbowl

  • titansfan4life

    @TitanSizedJason love the sarcasm in your post lol

  • TitanSizedJason

    @titansfan4life Thanks. Was actually written by our boy Philip, a new writer. He’s pretty talented & funny.

  • titansfan4life

    @TitanSizedJason pretty damn funny.

  • TitanSizedJason

    @Tennessee_T1Tan @fansided @Titan_Sized Peep the article. Rather tongue in cheek statement.

  • mlokey87

    @titansbuzztap who ever wrote this clearly need to find another team, i no it was just sarcasm but i think it was wrote by a fake tn fan!

  • jhbryant864

    @titansbuzztap who writes this stupid crap!!!! A total idiot. The titans organization is just as good if not better as all other nfl teams.

  • CM_titansized

    @TitanSizedJason @fansided @titan_sized great article. I really
    Hope we get him. He will run this team for decades

  • jhbryant864

    @titansbuzztap keep all your negative comments to yourself Peyton will be a tremendous asset the titans.

  • TitanSizedJason

    @CM_titansized @fansided @titan_sized Thanks. That’s our new writer Philip. Don’t know if you’ve had a chance to read him, but a good writer

  • Andrew_White5

    @titansbuzztap this is the dumbest thing i’ve ever seen in my life!

  • TitanSizedJason

    @jhbryant864 I assure you our writer wrote this in jest and is a huge fan of the Titans, as all of us are. Some humors not for everyone.

  • PhillipLytle

    @TitanSizedJason Should I have used the sarcasm font?

  • jstitansized

    Can’t believe how many people don’t understand the humor of this thing. The ants are really crawling out of the woodwork on this one.

  • TitanSizedJason

    @PhillipLytle It would be nice if there was a button that caused a hand to reach out and slap the reader during any tongue-in-cheek moments.

  • Sandy Chambers


  • Retromatt76

    Phillip, you rock! Funny & well written. Sorry about the morons who can’t recognize sarcasm…

  • Indoteacher

    Great article! I am cracking up at the responses. Maybe Titans fans really are as “simple” as you made them out to be.