All right, so I’m Vince Young. I’ve got millions of dollars and tons of fame, and I’ve spent the entire offseason convincing the people of Nashville and the world that I’ve matured enough to be a professional quarterback.
I’ve got some options on what to do Saturday, June 12, but I’m not sure whether to go to Club Onyx in Dallas, where the best case scenario would be spending an obscene amount of money on trashy women who feed on dollar bills like vampires do blood. The only reason keeping me from going is that the worst case scenario is some complete piece of trash recognizes me and instigates a fight with the hopes I beat the crap out of him so he can sue me and jeopardize my career. Tough call here, fellas.
Well, guess what, Vince, the worst case scenario may have just happened. What are you going to do?
Vince’s emotional fragility is well-documented. I’m already terrified of booing him at a game. I couldn’t live with having something to do with the poor guy just jumping in front of T-Rac’s golf cart and ending it all right there. How he handles himself in the days ahead will make or break the Titans season.
There is still chance this can all go away though. Apparantly, there is a Vince Young lookalike that’s so uncanny it fooled the hard-working people at TMZ. So, there’s still hope it wasn’t Vince, right?? Oh is this what it’s come to? I just hope I’m not talking myself into Rusty Smith by tomorrow.
If it turns out he was at the strip club, which should be the equivalent of walking into a zombie-infested wasteland for any pro athlete, it is disappointing. But there’s still hope it was his lookalike who left bodily wounds on some guy. And that, ladies and gentleman, is what being a fan of professional football is all about.